riding that estrogen wave

This is a 10 minute free write. Because 10 minutes is how long I had before the pool opened. 

I've come to love my cycle. It took me long enough. I appreciate the ebb and flow of energy the most. The big estrogen wave hit me this weekend. I went to bed early because I wanted to on Friday night and then got up early on Saturday and had run two errands by 9:00 am. I dumped stuff off at Goodwill that had been aggravating me and bought chicken food. (This also tens to be the time that I will dump off stuff in my head that has been bothering me. If I have a problem with someone I will talk to them about it. If I don't like the way I've been talking to myself, it gets corrected. ) I purchased a large piece of furniture for $25 at a yard sale. 8 hours and $90 of spray paint and new knobs later I had a brand new dining room hutch! I'm officially a grown up now. My kids are wondering where all these real plates and glasses came from. (I've been hiding them.)

What follows is an intense sense of urgency. I pray more fervently. I do not waste my time on pointless projects. My words are concise and intentional. The things will get done and God help you if you are standing between me and something that has been on my mind to be accomplished. 

I also appreciate the cave days as much as I am able to obey the need to close myself in and nurture myself. It usually involves Netflix and donuts and a bubble bath. For at least 2 hours. Mostly, I'm just caved up internally. Protective. I don't mind it. 

Then the progesterone days are my  nourishing days. I love everyone. So much. Especially my husband, because doggone it this uterus wants a baby. (Sorry, uterus. My hands cannot handle more babies even if you can.)

Like some young girls yearn for breasts and their period, I look forward to menopause. I know that there will be hot flashes. And I will wear tank tops and walk around braless and I wont care how much cellulite there is on my thighs!!!!! I will wear cutoffs in November and not even care. This is your warning. I will speak with purposeful clarity and authority because I will be old enough to know that whatever I am schooling you on is correct or I will keep my mouth shut. I will watch the youth make the mistakes they need to learn from, trust me. 

The Atlantic published a really interesting work on menopause here. I can't say the title because it involves a swear word and I think my mom might read this. I agree with most of the intention of this article. I have always said that when I have PMS I am really just acting as my true self. That woman inside who knows what she needs and isn't going to patronize others  with a smile and a nod. 

Time is up. If you like this, keep an eye out for our Here for the Donuts Podcast episode on PMS and period talk!