I have this tumbling question in my mind throughout the day, while life-big things- zooms around me: “Am I going to survive this?”
My own life, it feels like it just beats the crap out of me most days.
Sometimes it’s that constant chasing by grace. Yes, it’s true, grace chases us in breathless pursuit. ( Annwas right.)
Sometimes it’s the demand of motherhood that leaves me gasping for air.
The fast pace of life. I am letting go and gripping tightly. I am holding my breath and exhaling long.
“A place of rest, and a place of working until you feel feverish. Days of hiding followed by being truly found. Moments of quitting and eternal commitments. Holding on until your fingers are calloused and then letting go, even if it means a fast and long free fall.” (Lala Lovely
I can’t tell you ALL.THE.THINGS yet. I’m sorry.
But most mornings I get up, wonder again if it is right, reassure myself that God’s got this and it’s all His work anyway, and plunge my fingers into dough.
As I fall fast and free and LONG. My hands smoosh the dough and kids come in wide eyed with bed head, “Biscuits, again?!”
I smile, and smoosh, and ask for strength for another day. There is freedom in surrender. Somehow dough helps me to do that.
Tonight another mamma whispered dreams from her heart that she has never said aloud to anyone else, and I could feel the excitement down to my toes.
Are you thinking? Are you discovering? Are you dreaming? Are you falling fast and free?
Do you know who will catch you? That is the freedom in surrender.