Do you frequently visit the blogs of people you know you don’t agree with, just so you can get really steamed and leave sassy comments?

Do you enjoy snooping through your “friends” facebook pages and baulking at their foolishness or perhaps even getting offended at things they have written that had nothing to do with you? 

Do you frequently find yourself getting involved in pointless debates on online forums?Are you starting to get the picture here? I’m sure you’ve seen it if you have ever spent any amount of time on the internet.

I haven’t googled it yet, but I’d like to introduce a new term: Cyber Drama Mamma

The internet holds loads of potential. Potential for educating and potential for edifying. Information is spread rapidly in such a way that no society has ever experienced before. Unfortunately, a lot of this “information” is…well, gossip. We also have the ability to network like no society has ever had before. Trust me, as a stay at home mom, this is extremely vital for me. When I feel like I’m about to lose my head if I have to answer one more “Why?” question from my 4 year old, or tell my 3 year old to stop picking her nose one more time… it’s nice to be able to pop on facebook and leave a silly status update or respond to others. I can quickly let others know if I’m needing prayer or encouragement or advice moment by moment. However, this “networking” also seems to provide ample opportunity for folks to get irritated with one another, gossip, and demean others.

Part of the problem is that this is only written word. No body language or voice inflections can be heard. You may come to my little blog here and not know that I’m slightly sarcastic and goofy by nature and get offended by an offhand comment that I make. This could be partly because of my (the writer’s) irresponsibility with my words, and partly because of your (the reader’s) propensity to be easily offended. We are all narrow minded because we are only able to filter what we read through our own limited information and experiences. 

Let me get to my point. I have a wise woman friend who signs the bottom of every email with this scripture verse:

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and
to work with your hands… 1 Thess. 4:11

Let me paraphrase: Get a Life. Get a Hobby. Mind your own business. 

Truthfully, if we were going about our own business and staying busy with our hands, we wouldn’t have time to get on facebook every hour to see what our friends are up to, giving occasion to gossip, getting offended, or offending others. Because let’s face it: we pretty much have the opportunity to share what’s on our minds at every moment during the day, and any of us would offend any number of people with these thoughts, ideas and opinions at any given time.

Sin and recklessness aside, we’re all a diverse people with different ideas and opinions. You can judge something that someone else has done or said all day long, but you should realize that there is always some pertinent detail that you don’t know that has influenced their action or words. 

I’m not saying it’s wrong to, but I don’t “twitter” because I don’t WANT everyone to know what I’m doing at every moment of every day. I will absolutely not respond to or post any nasty, snide, or sassy comments to any of my blogs, and I’m not sure why anyone would. It’s my blog. These are my thoughts. I won’t make way for trite comments and I don’t have time for them frankly. Truthfully, I’ve already stated why I write. I write to encourage women to be women. I write to encourage parents to make their own decisions, even if those decisions disagree with my own way of thinking. I write because it’s good therapy sometimes. =D

We should be minding our own business. We should be so busy with doing good in our own lives that we don’t have time to check up on everyone else and worry about what they are doing. It’s like my daughter coming downstairs every stinking morning to tell me that her sister is not cleaning their room. Every morning I have to point out to her that she isn’t cleaning the room either, because she is too busy standing there bossing her sister and telling on her.

Ultimately we should all be asking ourselves this: are our words edifying (building up others)? And I say this to myself just as much as anyone else (and if you know me at all, you understand;) Just because what you are saying/writing is the truth doesn’t mean that you should be saying it at that moment or in that way. There is a way to season our words with salt, and I am constantly and desperately trying to learn this. I so respect those who are able to give sage words, to take some unsavory truth and season it with wisdom and light so as to make it palatable. There are words that need to be said that are difficult at times. And yes, sometimes the truth does hurt. But our ambition and our aim should be to convey the truth in love. We get nowhere by destroying with our words or participating in vain debates or destroying someone else’s reputation. 

If you think you might be a CDM there is a simple solution: STOP IT. Stop reading the blogs, get out of your online groups, delete your facebook account, and get a hobby. Start baking bread from scratch, reading to your kids, or if you must, learn to crochet even. Keep your hands and your mind busy on your own business. Be a grown up. If you come across someone’s stated opinion that you don’t agree with, ignore it or find a nice way to broaden their perspective. Pick your battles. There are a handful of worthy causes for fighting for, but have some dignity for pete’s sake.

Edited to add: It occurred to me that this might come off like a commercial on t.v. about reading more to your kids. I’m not saying that I don’t want people to read about my life or even leave comments. I am overjoyed if anyone is able to find some encouragement, stimulating thought, or simple humor from my life that I share here and I LOVE the comments! I’m just sayin’… while you’re here (and everywhere else for that matter!) be nice! <3