We were out of debt one time. It took the first three years of our marriage, but we did it. Then we immediately got back into debt. And “bought” a house… and a van.

Romans 13:8
“Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.”

We rather blissfully ignored this admonishment from scripture when we took on a business loan recently.

Over the last few months, we have watched our plans slowly disintegrate. What sounded like a good idea has proved to be pretty foolish. We thought we had a big account in the bag, and by a divinely orchestrated turn of events, lost it. And now we have this debt hanging over our heads.

So we decided we’d buckle down this summer and work hard to pay it off. Three farmers markets a week we are selling soap. And it’s hard work, ya’ll! Getting prepared with small children at your feet, loading the car, unpacking the soap onto the table, smiling in the heat for hours at prospective customers while also trying to juggle the kids around, packing back up, unloading the car at home, feeding everyone, etc etc. It feels like punishment. It feels like I have been locked in a dungeon and someone is demanding that I spin gold out of straw. Debt is a curse.

I do enjoy some aspects of the markets, don’t get me wrong. But we’re tired! And ironically, the harder we work, the more stuff goes wrong!!

For instance… we’ve had an AC repair, some crazy plumbing problems, water spraying from the back of the fridge, two car repairs (with another threatening), and now the washing machine is broken for good. (Did I mention I couldn’t even drive to the laundromat if I wanted and I have FOUR poopy cloth diapers sitting in the pail? And no clean dish towels?)

So you can see why I laid on my bed and cried today. =) I’m not bothering to record any of this for pity’s sake. I’m writing this down because I fully expect to come back and report the wonderful things that the Lord has done in our lives. Not to mention, we deserve the stress we are under right now.

My first reaction, really, was to call my Mamma!! But I knew that I needed to call my heavenly Father instead. I have a tendency to forget that He’s very much aware of my need and very much interested in hearing what I have on my heart. Just telling the Lord my fears, my frustrations, and my perceived inadequacies…leaning on His everlasting arms, even though He is the one disciplining… I trust Him.

We were foolish, and by His grace He is molding us and shaping us. What kind of a fools would we be if we despised the discipline of the Lord?

Job 5:17
“Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.”

Deuteronomy 8:5

“Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you.”

Proverbs 12:1
“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.”

Hebrews 12:5
“And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you…”

Hebrews 12:8
“If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.”

Hebrews 12:11
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

Painful is right! Every member of our family is bearing the brunt of this whole mess. And at the same time I know that Jesus will give us the grace to bear up under it all.

Moral of the story: Debt is bad. Oh, and Dave Ramsey was WRONG. Having an “emergency fund” does not create a bubble around you in which you have no emergencies. Our “emergency fund” has been really really necessary lately.